Tuloy

Halika...
pasok sa pinto ng kawalan,
tungo sa silid na walang hanggahan,
isang hakbang, isanlibong lumulutang na guni-guni,
at sa bawat hinga, milyong hikbi.

Tuloy...
sa bahay na binuhay ng kung ilang dilig,
ng patak ng luha at dugo.
Uhaw ang bahay ng kawalan,
ang pumasok ay habampanahung bisita.

Maupo ka...
sa mataas at malambot na silya,
ikaw ang panauhing pandangal,
sa piging na inihandang sapat sa sampung taong salu-salo,
at ang lahat ng ito ay para sa'yo.

Kumusta ka na?
ikaw na naligaw sa malayong kawalang ito,
ikaw na nagdalawang-isip na punan,
ang malungkot na mataas at malambot na silya sa ulunan ng hapag-kainan,
ang maalikabok at marupok na pintuan na iyong niluma,
(Oo, ikaw!),
ang nangingiming silid na walang sinumang kaluluwa pa ang nakakasilay,
dito sa kawalang hindi ko matakasan.

Salamat.

Step Two to Insanity

5:17 AM:  I cannot wake up. But in that state of not sleeping, I know I was awake.  My consciousness was in a limbo - half sleep, half awake, neither both.  My eyes were closed, but I saw light.  My mind was alert, churning thoughts here and there: How to "celebrate" my upcoming birthday?  What was that song I heard in the radio again? When is the enrolment for the first semester? And who was that woman standing by the door?  But of course, there was no one at the door.  The woman was a silhoutte of a suppressed memory that somehow managed to creep between the tiny cracks in my mind.

5:18 AM: I opened my eyes.  I remained in bed for about five minutes, eyes open, thinking about the things I have thought of while half-sleep, half-awake, neither both.

And onwards...It was the same as any other day - hazy.